I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
