I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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