I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We got so high we made milksteak
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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