I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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