When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
