You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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