I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
