hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
