You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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