When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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