This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
