So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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