i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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