420 ftw
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
