You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
