i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
