its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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