I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
