Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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