kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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