So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
