her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
