so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
