So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
