The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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