No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
