i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
