Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
