now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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