I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
