that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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