can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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