You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
