i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Drunk is not a location!
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