Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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