Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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