Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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