I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
