Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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