Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
