sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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