why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
