he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
