Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
