He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
