so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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