I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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