He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
