the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
