Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
