yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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