dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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