dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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