Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
