shes about as inviting as chlamydia
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
