And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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