if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
