I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
