I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
