your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
