A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
