Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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